Total and Utter Nonsense
by Dom the Fantabulous
Summary: Way too many Fairytales on my part. Little red riding hood with MWPP! YAY!


Once upon a time, deep in a forest there lived a little girl with her mother. Now, this was no ordinary little girl. Her name was Lily Evans, and she was a witch. Everyone called her 'little red curly hair'. She had very curly red hair, hence the nickname. One day, her mother baked a basket of goodies, and asked if she could take them to her sister Petunia. "Now, be warned, There is a big bad wolf in the forest, so don't stop to talk to strangers." Little red curly hair nodded and promised her mother she'd be careful, and soon she was off. After about 5 minutes, she found a blonde boy in a wolf costume, by the name of Remus. But, because the authors spell check doesn't like that word, and gives it ugly red squiggly lines, we will call him the smart little blonde boy in a funny looking wolf suit! So, the smart little blonde boy in a funny looking wolf suit decided to join little red curly hair on her journey to her sister Petunias.  
  
Director Bob: "CUT!!! That's not how it's supposed to happen!!! The wolf is supposed to run ahead and eat her sister Petunia! 

The smart little blonde boy in a funny looking wolf suit: But I'm a vegetarian! 

Me: SHUT UP DIRECTOR BOB! THIS IS MY STORY AND the smart little blonde boy in a funny looking wolf suit ISN'T EATING ANOYNE SO NEH! 

Back to the story: Little red curly hair and the smart little blonde boy in a funny looking wolf suit continued walking down the path, when a funny looking little boy with a pinched face came up to them. 

"Muahahah I am Peterstiltskin, and I demand your first born child! Muahahah!" 

Little red curly hair and the smart little blonde boy in a funny looking wolf suit looked at Peterstiltskin like he was an alien. 

"grrr.fine! You have to guess my name if you want to keep you kid! Muahahah!" 

Little Red curly hair just looked at him like he was even stupider, and replied curtly "It's Peterstiltskin Jackass! You told us just a second ago!" 

Then, she and the smart little blonde boy in a funny looking wolf suit had a good laugh at Peterstiltskins expense, and continued to skip merrily down the path. 

"lalalalallalalalalala" the smart little blonde boy in a funny looking wolf suit had a horrible singing voice, so little red curly hair gave him a cookie to shut him up. 

"I gotta cookie! I gotta cookie! I gotta cookie, hey, hey, hey, hey!" When they reached a bridge, the had to stop, for, beneath it, lived the horrible James-troll who told jokes so corny you would die if you even heard one. The horrible James-troll jumped onto the bridge. 

"muahahahahaha! To cross the bridge you must listen to my joke! Muaahahaha" 

"I have a joke!"the smart little blonde boy in a funny looking wolf suit muttered "your hair." 

"HEY!" the James-troll shouted "IT GROWS THIS WAY!" suddenly, he began to wail, and fell off of his bridge. 

They ran across the bridge, hoping not to meet anymore idiots. Unfortunately, they ran across Sirius Black, a strange boy calling out utter nonsense. 

"ALL BOW TO THE QUEEN OF POTATOS AND CHEESE!!!"

 "YAY! POTATOS AND CHEESE!" the smart little blonde boy in a funny looking wolf suit was so happy, he did a little jig. 

"I like sporks too." And he  picked up an electric spork "owwwwww!"

 Sirius and the smart little blonde boy in a funny looking wolf suit began to run in circles. 

"what's the rating of this fic?"

 "PG" Little red curly hair replied 

"Bloody hell? PG?!? That's boring!!!" Sirius whined, and suddenly he had a very evil grin, "smart little blonde boy in a funny looking wolf suit, let's fix the rating!" 

"Kay!!!!" then they both ran off, little red curly hair tagging along behind them, she, of course, was quite happy with a PG rating, and thought it was nonsense to change it. The smart little blonde boy in a funny looking wolf suit and Sirius ran off to look for Peterstiltskin, because everyone knows Violence is one of the best was to change the ratings in a fic. 

*out of fic* Sirius: I Want a cool name! He gets smart little blonde boy in a funny looking wolf suit, and Lily gets little red curly hair and JAMES gets horrible James-troll! IT's not fair!!!! *begins to whine and bang fists* 

me: "eh fine.from now on you're the spork and potatoes queen." 

Sirius: "score!"

 ~back to the fic~ 

The smart little blonde boy in a funny looking wolf suit and the Spork and Potatoes queen begin to punch Peterstiltskin, and finally throw him off of a cliff, so the blood and guts raise the rating to a PG-13. Since the dweebs are going for R, they continue.

 "How do we get an R?"

 "play wheel of fortune!" "NO, an R rating?" 

"oh.you do this!" The spork and potatoes queen grabs some random girl, planning to take off her pants

 "nuuuuuuuu!" little red curly hair tackles him, sending them all tumbling down a cliff to a watery doom. So the James-troll, the only one in this story still alive, kills Petunia and lives happily ever after in her house, the end!


End file.
